tropicalhotdognight

O hare delays suck my balls

So tired of this job. I get to the office and everyone's freaking out. I immediately get three hours of meeting notifications-- meetings which will be spent scrolling through Word documents item-by-item, the project manager asking reading the text aloud and me saying "ok", "uh-huh" and "that should be no problem."

They throw four projects at me at once and  ask "how long do you think this will take?" They act offended and puzzled when I tell them that I really don't know. It never evens out-- there's always something new. The clients are always changing their mind and demanding last-minute revisions. All the work I did on Wednesday and Thursday got scuttled come Friday-- revert to the old site and start over again.

I feel like a chump.

Hung over. Internet connection at work is dead.lame!

In oregon finally,on a greyhound.

my gaming console is THE BEST EVAR because it is difficult to obtain.
please note that while I have this game console, you do not. therefore you cannot rave about its revolutionary abilities and features, like:

- futuristic white plastic
- neighbors probably don't have one
- it could break something, if you threw it
- makes old people humor you long enough to get a picture to post on your blog about how even old people think it's the BEST EVAR when you visit them once a year at the nursing home and SURPRISE you want to spend the entire visit playing video games rather than, you know, acting like you care

OMG I SIMPLY MUST HAVE A WIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!111

Interested in playing a "low key" gig here in Tucson at special location to be announced? Ok then...., so here ya go..........Around the end of the year we are going to have an upscale music showcase. We are looking for a 3 real bands with that 'ability' to convince the crowd why they are there. You will be playing with a national tour act, no worry about ".....how many people paid to see you". Just be serious and be able take some harsh comments. Only real musicians need to reply. For man, no jokers or rodies looking for work. Just need some talent. Email the address above......we talk soon. Also, would consider strong cover band with the right style of music.

this is in or around UNDISCLOSED

This sounds awesome. I'm all about convincing the crowd why I'm "there". We talk soon!

Let's sell some high-class automobiles!

    1995 lexsus - $1900

i have a 1994 lexsus that needs minor work.. this car is a must see kept verry clean my asking price is $1,900 obo i also have a 1884 saab also verry clean looks new evrything works must sell my asking price is $1,950 obo pleas call for more info at _________

Problems abound!
1. I think it's spelled "Lexus". I could be wrong, but last time I checked...the car's still in your driveway, sir.
2. "Verry"? Rrrrr like an engine? Or with a big ol' Latin rolled "r"?
3. 1995? 1994? Same difference. Totally. It probably has one of those years on the title. Or maybe both. Whatever.
4. Dude! 1884 was a classic year for Saabs.
5. Best offer. Or best pleas! We can only hope that the seller hears our desperate pleas.

Perhaps an attention-grabbing headline will do the trick! Something like...

o0o0o0o0***1994.5 LEXIS***THUG OWNED***JUGGALO STICKERS***0o0o0o0o

I just made some bitchin' cutoff jean shorts. DELIGHT! Sick of kicking around my almost-hippie-lookin' jeans (gasp!) that had recieved two different emergency / crappy needle and thread sewing jobs, I just cut the goddamn cuffs off.

I have noticed that this can be a fashion statement. Right up there with emo-twee and fixed gear bikes....am I hip? Why no, I'm merely outdated. But it does not affect the comfort level of these Short Pants, which register at about 9.5 out of 10. I can't wait for them to look all frayed and Bon-Jovi-fan-like (the ironic kind of Bon Jovi fan, mind you).

So glad to be putting these to use again. Walking around in 'em was like trailing a Home-Economics-flunkie-style craft abortion on my heels. Uggh.

Nothin' like a hangover to make you feel like an a-dult. Why haven't I outgrown this vile liquid? CURSES! Only one thing makes me feel better right now. AOL keyword: "More Puking."

To make things worse (Old Style + hot wings is already pretty bad), the office fridge is all out of Gatorade. Which brings me to my next point: do we need any more variations on that shit? Let me count the flavors:

- Gatorade "Frost"
- Gatorade "X-Factor"
- Gatorade "Rain"
- Gatorade "XTREMO"
- Propel "Fitness Water" (which astute curmudgeons will note is not actually Gatorade but merely from the makers of Gatorade, but let's not split hairs! It's a fuity watery sports drink with the Gatorade logo on it, so let's say it counts.)

Perhaps in some remote rural outpost of America (or perhaps even Canada) one can still find the elusive "Original" flavors. I'm positive they're still in production-- but you'd never know. Every convenience store in the US has seen an overwhelming deluge of essentilly similar Gatorade products. You can no longer stumble in to Circle K at 7am, ache-in' and a-groanin', unable to properly sleep it off, and pick a flavor with any accuracy. Simplicity is very important to the recently-drunk! Give me five colors with corresponding flavors-- not fifteen different types of orange that could be Mango, Tangerine, Strawberry-Bananna, or even the hated Melon! (Layin' "Melon" on a hungover man? Might as well kick him in the balls!! It's true!)

I need no "Frost" or "Rain" or fucking Kiwi-Blackberry. I WANT TO FEEL HUMAN AGAIN!!

Clog is what the cell phone corrects "blog" to. It doesn't know what to do with "blogosphere"...